The Happening

Remember the 60's and 70's when a large group of cool people congregated together it was called a "happening"? That was Tom's funeral.

He had actually asked to be cremated but with his death being of such a shocking and sudden nature my daughters suggested we bring him back to our home state, Michigan, and give those who loved him the chance to see and accept that he was, indeed, dead. I agreed to that scenario and what an experience!

He looked great - but then - why shouldn't he? Until the moment his heart exploded he was the healthiest person I knew!

I wrote the obit myself with a little help from my daughter Beckie and our cousin Donna. It was a huge hit. Do you think there might be a market for ghost obit-writers? Now that my monthly income has been slashed by the Social Security Office I'm looking for options....

We chose a funeral home in Grosse Pointe with quick access to the Big Boy and at least two bars.

I was afraid my grandchildren, who range in age from 10-4, might be fearful of this new too too quiet Grampa but no worras. They poked and prodded him, tousled his hair, held his cold hands and drew pictures which they happily placed in the casket for him to take along to heaven.

Brooke's was especially poignant; she's 4 and drew, as she expressed it, "Grampa-in-a-box." She made him look good too!!?

From the moment the doors opened we were flooded with family, friends, former students, once-and-future teachers from Lakeview High School where he spent his career as teacher and administrator. Shock, surprise and sorrow were etched in every face but the overwhelming feeling was joy at having known him, having had him in all our lives. Laughter filled the room and hugs were abundant. Stories flowed like champagne at a wedding. Our daughters graduated from LHS themselves so naturally their own high school friends were there but so too were kids from every other crowd in every other year all crediting Tom with having made the high school a better place by showing them he cared.

We didn't have a funeral per se (although we were charged for it!??) but instead a family friend, Dennis Hafeli, presided at a lovefest where those present came forward and shared stories about Tom. There were tears, sure, but there were hoots of laughter too and isn't that what we'd all like in the end, to know we had moved those we love to truly feel our presence in their lives?

He was the closest thing to a rock star one high school in St. Clair Shores, Michigan, ever knew.

He was the best son, husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, cousin, nephew, in-law, of his generation.

He was a "friend to all", just as Cynthia's lovely cake stated in blue frosting.

Blue... that was exactly the right color.