Hopeless

My nephew Bill is visiting from MA for a few days mainly to buck me up and give me some support as The Widow Judy. He's a computer whiz and I had hoped, and he had agreed, that we could spend some time while he's here schooling me on 21st century tech stuff like cutting and pasting, photoshopping, putting my own pictures on Facebook and even sprucing up my blogspot entries picture-wise.

By two this afternoon he was ready to chew off his own hand if it meant he could escape trying to teach the unteachable!?

The sad part is, I really really want to know how to do all that stuff.

The mind is willing but the body is weak... so weak.

He tried to be patient; it was painful, really, seeing how hard he was trying not to cringe when I'd spastically click on things once, twice, once again, twice again trying to follow his directions but panicing. Or when it took me thirteen tries to turn one of those goofy Facebook 'learn more about me' quizzes blue so I could eventually delete the sender's answers and add my own?

The WORST was me trying to execute holding down the control key with my left finger and simultaneously moving the cursor up or down with my right and not, erroneously, at some time in the process, lifting my finger off the mouse thereby aborting the effort and having to start again. And again. And again.

You'd think ANYONE could double-click, right? It has taken me, literally, years to be able to do that under the best of circumstances and I still revert to utter incapacity when somebody's watching me 'perform' on the computer!?

I just have no skills (that's pronounced "skeels" in Detroit BTW)telling my body what I want it to do. For example, I can only ride a bike in a straight line. When I get to the point where I have to turn the handle bars right or left at a corner I have to actually STOP, get off the bike, walk it around the corner and then I can continue pedalling at least until the next corner stops me again.

That is so sad.

I am a dancer in my heart but when I tell my body, "Look, all you have to do is just move this way - that way - everybody's doing it...," I can hear my brain laughing out loud at the whole idea.

"NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, my friend," and my brain is right. Remember Eileen from "Seinfeld" dancing?? Double that and take it to the 6th power - that's me.

I eventually did create a folder with pictures in it AND I did finally get my own answers to that goofy quiz posted as a note on Facebook but - oy - the price we both paid to 'git 'er done'??? HUGH.

Tomorrow Bill's going to try and help me take some of those aforementioned pictures from the folder created today and add them to my blog entries. That ought to be good!? I'm already pitying him and we haven't even started yet.

Maybe we should just go to the beach instead and leave computer literacy to the Under 64 crowd?