Worlds Collide!

I saw my internist yesterday and, again, he disappointed me; I think I'll be doctor-shopping.

I don't know if he's painfully shy, has Asperger's Syndrome, or is just a dick. He will NOT look me in the eye. Whatever news he delivers, good or bad, his head is buried in my folder.

He's Italian. From Italy. At first I thought maybe he was not so much aloof as that he might be having to translate in his head from one language to another; that CAN slow communication to a crawl and make the speaker nervous.

It could also explain why he never - ever - laughed at my jokes?? Once, he did smile and I thought we'd made a breakthrough but that was more than two years ago; since then? Nada.

He DID, however, carry on conversations with Tom. Him he could eyeball. Any time Tom and I were in a room together with him all communication was directed mano-a-mano; it was all very Old World.

I am a New World girl.

Good news or bad, I like a doctor who at least acknowledges my presence.

And he never mentioned Tom's death!? Now this guy has been our internist for almost four years. I see him either every six months or every three, sometimes more depending on health issues; Tom he saw once a year for a regular checkup and intermittently for minor problems that cropped up. He also was the doctor of record for Tom's mother while she was with us including the eight months he treated her, with us present every time, after she broke her hip and then failed to thrive.

And he signed Tom's death certificate three months ago.

Wouldn't you think simple courtesy at least warrants, "I'm very sorry about your loss"?????

I guess that's my bottom line. I could accept the humorlessness, the averted eyes, the dull and slow monotone delivery but the straw that breaks my camel's back is not acknowledging a loss so entirely stupefying it HAD to stand out in his mind.

And still he couldn't bring himself to look me in the face and say, "I'm sorry." That's just wrong.

It's gonna cost him. I'm taking my marbles and walking away.

I'm not mad.

I'm not mad.

Like hell I'm not.