I started learning Italian in my car yesterday.
Usually I just sing as loudly as I want to the two country stations I listen to but now I'm improving my mind. Seriously. Experts say that doing crossword puzzles and learning a new language are two of the best ways possible to keep your brain sharp.
If that's true I should be a LOT sharper than I am??
I play Scrabble way too much of the day on Facebook... usually about 8 games simultaneously! I win a lot but not all the time because those upstart nieces won't let me rest on my laurels.
I mentioned that I'm thinking about travelling to Rome this fall and I got a message from a long-lost-recently-rediscovered cousin inviting me to travel with her, her husband, and a friend of theirs.
No, his name wasn't Stan!! lol
Their schedule isn't fixed because the friend has some health issues that need to be resolved first but it would be so cool to hook up with my cousin, whom I haven't seen in, let's say, thirty five years give or take.
And then my daughter Beckie told me she and her husband Dan will be in Rome themselves for an energy conference at the end of September so we could pal around if I were there then.
Also a very cool idea.
So... I'm learning Italian. After teaching French, another romance language, for almost forty years Italian's coming along pretty quickly. I just need the oral facility - won't be writing any treatises after all. The accent's interesting and I like it very much - not as much as French but that's OK.
Who's been to Rome at different times of the year? Is it better to be there in September and October or October and November? Can you do without a coat... just stick to sweaters in the fall? Anybody stayed somewhere they loved? What's the best area to live in while you're there?
I need some input so help me out. Let me know some specifics ASAP, please. I need to start solidifying some plans!
Ciao!!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Memorial Day
What a beautiful holiday this has been.
Memorial Day is all about remembering those who've served our country especially those who have died in service so you would think that might be sad. But, it fact, it's a rip-roarin' beach-lake-pool-picnic-barbecue-fireworks celebratin' sort of day and that's what we did.
All that stuff!
I started off meeting Carolyn, Dalecia, Dabria, Dominique and Quincy at the beach about 10:00. IT WASN'T EARLY ENOUGH, lol!! We literally drove up and down the parking lanes for better than 50 minutes (you would never have done that, I know!) and still there was no room at the inn.
So we drove across the street to the condo Carolyn's friend lives in but - alas - she was having people over herself and couldn't give us the go-ahead to use her parking spaces as we'd hoped she might.
All that running in place made up hungry so we stopped for brunch at Denny's. As soon as we got our drinks we toasted our service people, their sacrifices and those of their families - then we ate like pigs!
You would have hooted over our ancient waitness. She had to be in her late seventies. Guess we'll be seeing a lot more of that in this economy....
You have to know that, yes, I left her a hugh tip!
Having been denied access to the Gulf of Mexico we headed to Oscar Sherer State Park figuring we'd go to the little beach there. I pulled up to the ranger's station first and paid but as she was handing me change the officer said, "Oh, by the way, the beach is closed for high bacteria count."
"Oh, no! That's the only reason we were here - to go to the beach!!"
She gave me the entire refund, Quincy switched back to Carolyn's car (she was nice enough to bring him so I didn't have to drive all the way cross town to pick him up!) and we parted company.
I went back home and joined Suzy and Thom on the lanai. Suzy was wiping away big crocodile tears when I stepped out there. Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke" was on XM and she was remembering the crazy 'exercises' that Tom used to do to that song and to so many others.
The softie!!
We spent the afternoon watching the Tigers play the Royals and whup 'em pretty good: 13-1! That, lazing in the pool and reading completed our holiday afternoon.
It's dinnertime now and Thom Strong is manning the grill. We're having all the staples: barbecued rib steaks, corn on the cob, salad, hot crusty rolls.
Later, there'll be watermelon, ice cream and sparklers.
All I can say is, "Wish you were here,
Tom."
Memorial Day is all about remembering those who've served our country especially those who have died in service so you would think that might be sad. But, it fact, it's a rip-roarin' beach-lake-pool-picnic-barbecue-fireworks celebratin' sort of day and that's what we did.
All that stuff!
I started off meeting Carolyn, Dalecia, Dabria, Dominique and Quincy at the beach about 10:00. IT WASN'T EARLY ENOUGH, lol!! We literally drove up and down the parking lanes for better than 50 minutes (you would never have done that, I know!) and still there was no room at the inn.
So we drove across the street to the condo Carolyn's friend lives in but - alas - she was having people over herself and couldn't give us the go-ahead to use her parking spaces as we'd hoped she might.
All that running in place made up hungry so we stopped for brunch at Denny's. As soon as we got our drinks we toasted our service people, their sacrifices and those of their families - then we ate like pigs!
You would have hooted over our ancient waitness. She had to be in her late seventies. Guess we'll be seeing a lot more of that in this economy....
You have to know that, yes, I left her a hugh tip!
Having been denied access to the Gulf of Mexico we headed to Oscar Sherer State Park figuring we'd go to the little beach there. I pulled up to the ranger's station first and paid but as she was handing me change the officer said, "Oh, by the way, the beach is closed for high bacteria count."
"Oh, no! That's the only reason we were here - to go to the beach!!"
She gave me the entire refund, Quincy switched back to Carolyn's car (she was nice enough to bring him so I didn't have to drive all the way cross town to pick him up!) and we parted company.
I went back home and joined Suzy and Thom on the lanai. Suzy was wiping away big crocodile tears when I stepped out there. Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke" was on XM and she was remembering the crazy 'exercises' that Tom used to do to that song and to so many others.
The softie!!
We spent the afternoon watching the Tigers play the Royals and whup 'em pretty good: 13-1! That, lazing in the pool and reading completed our holiday afternoon.
It's dinnertime now and Thom Strong is manning the grill. We're having all the staples: barbecued rib steaks, corn on the cob, salad, hot crusty rolls.
Later, there'll be watermelon, ice cream and sparklers.
All I can say is, "Wish you were here,
Tom."
Friday, May 22, 2009
Arrivaderci, Roma
I've going this afternoon for my second viewing of "Angels and Demons". Loved the book, loved the movie!
I'm not a Catholic so I don't mind the religious controversy in this Dan Brown book or that in his previous book-made-movie, The DaVinci Code; this is a very tight action thriller set in the place I would most like to spend some time right now: Rome.
I wonder how much time a novice would need to spend 'enough' time in that city!??
As a forever French teacher I know Paris should be the first European city I'd want to visit but - for whatever reason - it's Rome that draws me.
I always said that if Tom died first I'd sign up to join the nunnery (after I actually became Catholic, of course!)so maybe that's where my new-found interest in the Vatican and the city surrounding it comes from?
I long to be in the piazzas just glorying in the architecture and flavor of them.
I want to see all the churches and revel in their august beauty...
and the museums and the cafes and the pensionnes and the fountains and the cobblestones and the people and most of all the history.
Why now? Why Rome? Why don't I have a fortune large enough to support the adventure??
(LOL)
If Paris took a second seat because I've spent an adult lifetime seeing videos and reading books of ITS geography, history and culture the answer might be right there in front of my face.
I CAN afford to rent/buy videos of Rome!
That will be my compromise; I'll hit the library and the bookstores this afternoon and start amassing a personal library of Things To Do And See on my (never-to-actually-be-realized) dream trip!!
I do have an excellent imagination AND a knack for being happy with what I've got so that might well satisfy this new-found longing for travel and adventure in La Bella Roma.
I'm off to follow that Italian yellow brick road!
Arreviderci!
I'm not a Catholic so I don't mind the religious controversy in this Dan Brown book or that in his previous book-made-movie, The DaVinci Code; this is a very tight action thriller set in the place I would most like to spend some time right now: Rome.
I wonder how much time a novice would need to spend 'enough' time in that city!??
As a forever French teacher I know Paris should be the first European city I'd want to visit but - for whatever reason - it's Rome that draws me.
I always said that if Tom died first I'd sign up to join the nunnery (after I actually became Catholic, of course!)so maybe that's where my new-found interest in the Vatican and the city surrounding it comes from?
I long to be in the piazzas just glorying in the architecture and flavor of them.
I want to see all the churches and revel in their august beauty...
and the museums and the cafes and the pensionnes and the fountains and the cobblestones and the people and most of all the history.
Why now? Why Rome? Why don't I have a fortune large enough to support the adventure??
(LOL)
If Paris took a second seat because I've spent an adult lifetime seeing videos and reading books of ITS geography, history and culture the answer might be right there in front of my face.
I CAN afford to rent/buy videos of Rome!
That will be my compromise; I'll hit the library and the bookstores this afternoon and start amassing a personal library of Things To Do And See on my (never-to-actually-be-realized) dream trip!!
I do have an excellent imagination AND a knack for being happy with what I've got so that might well satisfy this new-found longing for travel and adventure in La Bella Roma.
I'm off to follow that Italian yellow brick road!
Arreviderci!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Just Daniel
God bless Daniel!
He's my 12-year old nephew who happens to be autistic.
There's a hugh spectrum of abilities for autistic kids and I haven't done enough research to know with authority where Daniel falls on that scale but I DO know that he's performing at a far higher level than I could ever have imagined possible when he was diagnosed at 4.
He has the best parents any special needs kid could have AND he's in a school district that values EVERY student. Those are not the only but they are two of the main reasons he has come so far.
His has been an amazing journey.
He's made some giant leaps in the last couple years. He and his younger brother are relating in ways that I was never sure would happen for them but - by gosh - they PLAY GAMES together, now, almost every single day.
Unheard of.
He took up an instrument, the baritone, and we could only look at it and wonder what the heck would happen. Two years later not only does he play it (and LOVES playing it!) but he's in the regular old-fashioned school band!?? ON THE STAGE, playing in harmony with others!! He sits silently when he needs to and jumps in with beautiful music when it's his time to shine.
Amazing.
Last summer he went to a special needs bike camp to learn to ride a two-wheeler and he DID. Prior to that his mother-who-loves-him would tool him around on a bicycle built for two so their family could bike ride together. Well... he'd gotten so tall and filled out so much that she was literally doing all the work for what essentially were two grown adults!? He sat in the back and waved to neighbors, smiled and sang to himself having a ball while she grunted and groaned pedalling for two up and down all the many hills in East Lansing!???
Now that's true love.
But even true love gets pooped so Shelly researched and found a group that had been successful teaching autistic kids to ride a two-wheeler. On faith, she signed Daniel up for their summer program. It involved 3+ hours a day in the car and that ranks VERY low on Daniel's list so she was never sure until The Day if it would be a "go" but it was. And he learned. And now he's ALMOST (fingers crossed!?) ready to go around the block (shh...) a-l-o-n-e.
I had to whisper it for fear of jinxing the prospect!!!
If he hadn't almost run an old guy down last week (!) it probably would have been a
fait accompli but... well... there's always that big but, y'know??
I'm so proud of him. And Shelly and Todd. And his brother Zachary. And his grandparents. And his classmates. And his teachers. And everyone who loves him because, as Zachary said in kindergarten when a kid asked him, "What's wrong with your brother?" he - without hesitation - answered, "Nothing,
"he's just Daniel."
He's my 12-year old nephew who happens to be autistic.
There's a hugh spectrum of abilities for autistic kids and I haven't done enough research to know with authority where Daniel falls on that scale but I DO know that he's performing at a far higher level than I could ever have imagined possible when he was diagnosed at 4.
He has the best parents any special needs kid could have AND he's in a school district that values EVERY student. Those are not the only but they are two of the main reasons he has come so far.
His has been an amazing journey.
He's made some giant leaps in the last couple years. He and his younger brother are relating in ways that I was never sure would happen for them but - by gosh - they PLAY GAMES together, now, almost every single day.
Unheard of.
He took up an instrument, the baritone, and we could only look at it and wonder what the heck would happen. Two years later not only does he play it (and LOVES playing it!) but he's in the regular old-fashioned school band!?? ON THE STAGE, playing in harmony with others!! He sits silently when he needs to and jumps in with beautiful music when it's his time to shine.
Amazing.
Last summer he went to a special needs bike camp to learn to ride a two-wheeler and he DID. Prior to that his mother-who-loves-him would tool him around on a bicycle built for two so their family could bike ride together. Well... he'd gotten so tall and filled out so much that she was literally doing all the work for what essentially were two grown adults!? He sat in the back and waved to neighbors, smiled and sang to himself having a ball while she grunted and groaned pedalling for two up and down all the many hills in East Lansing!???
Now that's true love.
But even true love gets pooped so Shelly researched and found a group that had been successful teaching autistic kids to ride a two-wheeler. On faith, she signed Daniel up for their summer program. It involved 3+ hours a day in the car and that ranks VERY low on Daniel's list so she was never sure until The Day if it would be a "go" but it was. And he learned. And now he's ALMOST (fingers crossed!?) ready to go around the block (shh...) a-l-o-n-e.
I had to whisper it for fear of jinxing the prospect!!!
If he hadn't almost run an old guy down last week (!) it probably would have been a
fait accompli but... well... there's always that big but, y'know??
I'm so proud of him. And Shelly and Todd. And his brother Zachary. And his grandparents. And his classmates. And his teachers. And everyone who loves him because, as Zachary said in kindergarten when a kid asked him, "What's wrong with your brother?" he - without hesitation - answered, "Nothing,
"he's just Daniel."
Justice For All!!
I am a mess!
In the last three days I have done nothing but bump into things and, as a result, I'm covered in purple marks that pool blood under my skin.
Hideous!!!
There's enough indignity in just getting older without adding injury to insult.
Both hands, both arms and my left leg all pay moot tribute to klutziness and age.
Even when I think I'm being careful I'm really not, apparently.
I know there are meds people take that intensify this happening (I'm not taking any of those though so I have to think heredity plays a part in this phenomenon too.) but are there meds that can STOP it??
Wishful thinking, I'm sure.
Just as I wishfully think of having a waist again, or luxurious hair, or TOM here beside me!?
Or... a bucket of money! So I can go to Europe and hang for a couple months - ok - now I AM dreaming!!
C'est la vie. That's life and there you have it. You take the good with the bad.
On the positive side I'm relatively healthy, relatively sharp, relatively active, and loved a lot so on balance there's no question life Is good.
But damn these marks. I'm not Cain!!!! I'm just The Widow Judy trying to get along in the world.
Where's the justice?
In the last three days I have done nothing but bump into things and, as a result, I'm covered in purple marks that pool blood under my skin.
Hideous!!!
There's enough indignity in just getting older without adding injury to insult.
Both hands, both arms and my left leg all pay moot tribute to klutziness and age.
Even when I think I'm being careful I'm really not, apparently.
I know there are meds people take that intensify this happening (I'm not taking any of those though so I have to think heredity plays a part in this phenomenon too.) but are there meds that can STOP it??
Wishful thinking, I'm sure.
Just as I wishfully think of having a waist again, or luxurious hair, or TOM here beside me!?
Or... a bucket of money! So I can go to Europe and hang for a couple months - ok - now I AM dreaming!!
C'est la vie. That's life and there you have it. You take the good with the bad.
On the positive side I'm relatively healthy, relatively sharp, relatively active, and loved a lot so on balance there's no question life Is good.
But damn these marks. I'm not Cain!!!! I'm just The Widow Judy trying to get along in the world.
Where's the justice?
Monday, May 18, 2009
CA Bound!
Did I mention Aunt Katie's in town? She's actually Tom's aunt and I can only claim her by marriage but Tom's family having been MY family for so long - what the heck - she's mine now too.
She was long-married to Uncle Donald who treated her like the princess she was probably meant to be. (I bet, when she was a child, she was "The Pretty One"!!)
I'm not actually certain what her age is but it's in the 80's somewhere and she is still a real looker. She has the most beautiful gray hair - the kind that's three-dimensional with the lightest shade an ash that's to die for. Ethereal, but not in an other-wordly sense, just highly-refined-and-delicate.
And bright?? I'd hate to get in a "fact-off" with her because I'm sure she'd show me up pretty substantially.
We'll avoid that, please!
She's making a HUGH life change and Sarasota is simply a pit stop on her way from MI to San Luis Obispo, CA.
Her second marriage was well-intentioned and supported by the family but (and you know there's always that BIG BUT!?) it didn't work out and, having divested, Katie has decided to move herself and her belongings across country. She will be spending some appreciable face time with her son and his still-young family.
Great idea!
NOTHING keeps a person lively like being with young people!! And if they're your very own grands AND they live in paradise-west AND your son married a veritable saint - well - it's all good.
There will be games galore to enjoy with the boys, all their school functions to participate in, their future loves to be seen. Her son Bill is a laugh riot and will keep her on her toes poking fun at her and at everyone else too, even himself.
She's going to a great family and while those of us on THIS side of the Mississippi will miss seeing her we will enjoy hearing about all her escapades.
Yup. I believe she still has "escapades" in her future.
She's a sassy, beautiful, intelligent lady with a lot of fun potential.
It gives me hope.
She was long-married to Uncle Donald who treated her like the princess she was probably meant to be. (I bet, when she was a child, she was "The Pretty One"!!)
I'm not actually certain what her age is but it's in the 80's somewhere and she is still a real looker. She has the most beautiful gray hair - the kind that's three-dimensional with the lightest shade an ash that's to die for. Ethereal, but not in an other-wordly sense, just highly-refined-and-delicate.
And bright?? I'd hate to get in a "fact-off" with her because I'm sure she'd show me up pretty substantially.
We'll avoid that, please!
She's making a HUGH life change and Sarasota is simply a pit stop on her way from MI to San Luis Obispo, CA.
Her second marriage was well-intentioned and supported by the family but (and you know there's always that BIG BUT!?) it didn't work out and, having divested, Katie has decided to move herself and her belongings across country. She will be spending some appreciable face time with her son and his still-young family.
Great idea!
NOTHING keeps a person lively like being with young people!! And if they're your very own grands AND they live in paradise-west AND your son married a veritable saint - well - it's all good.
There will be games galore to enjoy with the boys, all their school functions to participate in, their future loves to be seen. Her son Bill is a laugh riot and will keep her on her toes poking fun at her and at everyone else too, even himself.
She's going to a great family and while those of us on THIS side of the Mississippi will miss seeing her we will enjoy hearing about all her escapades.
Yup. I believe she still has "escapades" in her future.
She's a sassy, beautiful, intelligent lady with a lot of fun potential.
It gives me hope.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow...
It's summer in sunny Florida!
This is the fifth consecutive day that clouds have rolled in about 2:00 and brought afternoon rain.
I love that!
You get to see sunshine through the whole morning but the afternoons can bring almost any kind of thunderstorm you've ever experienced, from just a kiss of rain to violent incursions.
The general pattern sees the clouds and rain moving out by dinnertime which means the sun comes out again before sunset in paradise.
Did I mention summer lasts for five or six months?? Well... it does.
Today I was at Alta Vista picking up Quincy, my Little Brother, when the deluge started. We were soaked to the bone just sprinting from the covered walkway to my car 50 yards away!! My wig was so soaked I had to whip it off my head and shake it out in the front seat. This cracked Quincy up, of course; he's 9.
We went a mile down the road to get my Little Sister Dalecia from home after Tuttle elementary got out. She's also 9 but a grade ahead of Q. She had time to change her clothes and pat her cornrow braids dry, the lucky!
Q and I looked like drowned rats!!
It was still raining ferociously when we pulled out of her driveway. The roads - especially the intersections - were completely flooded. Cars were stalling going through water half-door deep.
We modified our playdate plan and went straight to dinner at Olive Garden. It was the better part of valor....
We had a lovely meal, laughed, had lots of conversation, many stories were told, plans were made for excursions over summer vacation - we even tried the new dessert: sugared doughnuts!
When we got outside you would never have even known it rained - well - unless you touched Q's or my shirt!? WE were still soggy but the roads were now dry, the clouds had disappeared and the sun was out.
Amazing phenomenon!
It was 6PM and all was right with paradise once more.
Until TOMORROW afternoon...?
This is the fifth consecutive day that clouds have rolled in about 2:00 and brought afternoon rain.
I love that!
You get to see sunshine through the whole morning but the afternoons can bring almost any kind of thunderstorm you've ever experienced, from just a kiss of rain to violent incursions.
The general pattern sees the clouds and rain moving out by dinnertime which means the sun comes out again before sunset in paradise.
Did I mention summer lasts for five or six months?? Well... it does.
Today I was at Alta Vista picking up Quincy, my Little Brother, when the deluge started. We were soaked to the bone just sprinting from the covered walkway to my car 50 yards away!! My wig was so soaked I had to whip it off my head and shake it out in the front seat. This cracked Quincy up, of course; he's 9.
We went a mile down the road to get my Little Sister Dalecia from home after Tuttle elementary got out. She's also 9 but a grade ahead of Q. She had time to change her clothes and pat her cornrow braids dry, the lucky!
Q and I looked like drowned rats!!
It was still raining ferociously when we pulled out of her driveway. The roads - especially the intersections - were completely flooded. Cars were stalling going through water half-door deep.
We modified our playdate plan and went straight to dinner at Olive Garden. It was the better part of valor....
We had a lovely meal, laughed, had lots of conversation, many stories were told, plans were made for excursions over summer vacation - we even tried the new dessert: sugared doughnuts!
When we got outside you would never have even known it rained - well - unless you touched Q's or my shirt!? WE were still soggy but the roads were now dry, the clouds had disappeared and the sun was out.
Amazing phenomenon!
It was 6PM and all was right with paradise once more.
Until TOMORROW afternoon...?
Moving on...
Phew!
I made it to May 14!!
I was afraid I might fall down the rabbit hole or something on Tom's birthday but nothing happened. May 13th moved as all others do from minutes to hours to "Time's Up!" and on to the next day.
Slam, bam, thank you Ma'am.
It's a good lesson to remember - no matter how much you look forward to or dread a day it will always be that and nothing more: 24 hours with 60 minutes each. Period. Paragraph.
For myself, I moved through the hours relatively unencumbered with tears or sadness. I followed through on my promise to myself and I'm certain I did laugh more than I cried... although it probably would've been pretty close. By 8:00PM I figured I'd just put my head down on my pillow for a minute and three hours later I woke up!? Since 11:00 is my usual bedtime I decided, "What the heck?" rolled over and went right back to sleep.
That was probably cheating, calling it a day three hours earlier than usual, but I think it can be forgiven at least in Year One.
Thanks to all of you who thought of Tom and all of us who mourn.
It helped.
I made it to May 14!!
I was afraid I might fall down the rabbit hole or something on Tom's birthday but nothing happened. May 13th moved as all others do from minutes to hours to "Time's Up!" and on to the next day.
Slam, bam, thank you Ma'am.
It's a good lesson to remember - no matter how much you look forward to or dread a day it will always be that and nothing more: 24 hours with 60 minutes each. Period. Paragraph.
For myself, I moved through the hours relatively unencumbered with tears or sadness. I followed through on my promise to myself and I'm certain I did laugh more than I cried... although it probably would've been pretty close. By 8:00PM I figured I'd just put my head down on my pillow for a minute and three hours later I woke up!? Since 11:00 is my usual bedtime I decided, "What the heck?" rolled over and went right back to sleep.
That was probably cheating, calling it a day three hours earlier than usual, but I think it can be forgiven at least in Year One.
Thanks to all of you who thought of Tom and all of us who mourn.
It helped.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Unbirthday
Today is Tom's unbirthday.
In the Big Book of Judy you don't get to add years after you're dead BUT the anniversary of your arrival on Earth can always be celebrated - ergo - the aforementioned "unbirthday" was born.
Both my 'away' daughters called from Michigan to say they and their children toasted Grampa this morning. Beckie and her boys clinked glasses of orange juice and chocolate milk; Amy and her three blew kisses toward heaven. I'm not sure if anyone sang the unbirthday song but I wouldn't be surprised if they had.
Me? I rolled over and went back to sleep because I was having a dream in which Tom was a major player. We were at a big family party/event and Tom was shucking a hugh box of corn on the cob. I offered to help but he was clearly having fun doing it himself while chatting with others so I left him to it and invited my sort of quasi-new boyfriend (whose name was NOT Stan but was, rather, Rob!?)to play cards which we did on top of a bed in immediate proximity to Tom. All of us seemed very happy and content.
(I can't explain these dream sequences... all I can do is report!?)
But I'm up now and have been for a couple hours. So far, so good. Sure, I puddled up over the clicking and kisses but I'm not bawling like a baby so I consider that a coup of sorts.
When I was so out-of-control weepy earlier this week I cancelled myself out of three engagements scheduled for today and tomorrow. It just made sense; giving myself some time and space to let this anniversary pass over-through-and-by me as it will seemed the better part of valor.
By Friday I'll be ready to re-join the world.
Hope it's ready for me??
In the Big Book of Judy you don't get to add years after you're dead BUT the anniversary of your arrival on Earth can always be celebrated - ergo - the aforementioned "unbirthday" was born.
Both my 'away' daughters called from Michigan to say they and their children toasted Grampa this morning. Beckie and her boys clinked glasses of orange juice and chocolate milk; Amy and her three blew kisses toward heaven. I'm not sure if anyone sang the unbirthday song but I wouldn't be surprised if they had.
Me? I rolled over and went back to sleep because I was having a dream in which Tom was a major player. We were at a big family party/event and Tom was shucking a hugh box of corn on the cob. I offered to help but he was clearly having fun doing it himself while chatting with others so I left him to it and invited my sort of quasi-new boyfriend (whose name was NOT Stan but was, rather, Rob!?)to play cards which we did on top of a bed in immediate proximity to Tom. All of us seemed very happy and content.
(I can't explain these dream sequences... all I can do is report!?)
But I'm up now and have been for a couple hours. So far, so good. Sure, I puddled up over the clicking and kisses but I'm not bawling like a baby so I consider that a coup of sorts.
When I was so out-of-control weepy earlier this week I cancelled myself out of three engagements scheduled for today and tomorrow. It just made sense; giving myself some time and space to let this anniversary pass over-through-and-by me as it will seemed the better part of valor.
By Friday I'll be ready to re-join the world.
Hope it's ready for me??
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The Polar Bear
My daughter Beckie and the boys gave Daddy Dan a puppy for his birthday a couple weeks ago. A "Coton de Tulear" which is to say, a French ball of white fluff!
Pictures do neither the pup nor the adoring family justice. If every CHILD born was greeted with such loving looks and tender touches the world would be a better place indeed.
The kids had a rescue dog, a beagle named Regal, before the children came. She was a pistol! And STINK??! Yoicks. No matter how often that dog was bathed she always had a stench about her that couldn't be ignored.
Tom and I would babysit the Regal Beagle whenever the kids went travelling - before the boys were born that happened quite a lot. It was always a challenge and while we loved the dog we were never enamoured of her untoward habits.
The only way the dog would eat involved me having to sit on the floor beside her dish and chat her up while she nibbled on kibble. Seriously.
And no matter how we shored up our fencing in the backyard on Bishop in Detroit that damn dog would dig and wiggle and wriggle till she found her way out. That would necessitate us going up one street and down another too many times to count until we'd spot her and lure her into the car with extravagent treats.
She thought she was a lap dog; that was her saving grace.
(Except for the heady odor which transferred to everything she laid upon!)
The new puppy won't be home in Berkley for another few weeks. I imagine he'll have a cute little house out-of-doors but mostly, for his own sake, he'll be inside and be walked as necessity dictates. Lord knows how that will work? There better be a schedule allowing equal access to Polar or many noses will be quickly out of joint!!
It's a hypo-allergenic breed so asthmatic relatives should be safe.
It says in fine print...!?
I wish them luck. A puppy's work is never done and neither is its owner's. With all that goes on at Beckie's I'd like to be a fly on the wall observing the manner in which everyone melds the dog to their schedule.
It ought to be a circus.
Luckily, the Radomskis all LOVE a good circus.
Pictures do neither the pup nor the adoring family justice. If every CHILD born was greeted with such loving looks and tender touches the world would be a better place indeed.
The kids had a rescue dog, a beagle named Regal, before the children came. She was a pistol! And STINK??! Yoicks. No matter how often that dog was bathed she always had a stench about her that couldn't be ignored.
Tom and I would babysit the Regal Beagle whenever the kids went travelling - before the boys were born that happened quite a lot. It was always a challenge and while we loved the dog we were never enamoured of her untoward habits.
The only way the dog would eat involved me having to sit on the floor beside her dish and chat her up while she nibbled on kibble. Seriously.
And no matter how we shored up our fencing in the backyard on Bishop in Detroit that damn dog would dig and wiggle and wriggle till she found her way out. That would necessitate us going up one street and down another too many times to count until we'd spot her and lure her into the car with extravagent treats.
She thought she was a lap dog; that was her saving grace.
(Except for the heady odor which transferred to everything she laid upon!)
The new puppy won't be home in Berkley for another few weeks. I imagine he'll have a cute little house out-of-doors but mostly, for his own sake, he'll be inside and be walked as necessity dictates. Lord knows how that will work? There better be a schedule allowing equal access to Polar or many noses will be quickly out of joint!!
It's a hypo-allergenic breed so asthmatic relatives should be safe.
It says in fine print...!?
I wish them luck. A puppy's work is never done and neither is its owner's. With all that goes on at Beckie's I'd like to be a fly on the wall observing the manner in which everyone melds the dog to their schedule.
It ought to be a circus.
Luckily, the Radomskis all LOVE a good circus.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Try, Try, Again
Too too many tears today!
Being on the lanai still kills me. Tom would be disappointed with the big baby I'm being.
We had so much fun out there! My heart just bleeds without him being under the sun and the stars with me.
I see him in every space out there, so entirely happy with our life here: doing his goofy pool exercises to 50's and 60's tunes, playing Rummikub and keeping a weekly score to declare a "World Champion", lounging by the hot water outflow doing a "Pool Stand" when the water was really too cold for swimming, pushing me on the floaty so I could stay in the Lazy River, sunbathing, both of us singing old Rock-n-Roll songs aloud, grilling at least four times a week, cheering for the Tigers, watching MSNBC ad nauseum, feeding/naming/establishing a relationship with the 6-7 herons who came to the door every day for pieces of hot dogs, talking to the wild parrots who came to the bird feeder telling them to 'bring your friends', finding stars in the telescope at night, watching the hawks hunt, looking for the fox who ran though the yard many mornings, mocking the golfers on the 14th tee behind our house, chatting with our girls and grands on the portable phone, and always... loving me and being loved in return.
I miss him so.
Lucky as I am with all the love I have in my life, and I AM lucky, I long for his.
There'll be a point, I'm sure, when I will be out there without puddling up; I have no doubt of that. Life goes on. But right now, this minute, today, is not that day.
Luckily for me, there'll be another day to do better tomorrow.
And so I shall,
Try.
Being on the lanai still kills me. Tom would be disappointed with the big baby I'm being.
We had so much fun out there! My heart just bleeds without him being under the sun and the stars with me.
I see him in every space out there, so entirely happy with our life here: doing his goofy pool exercises to 50's and 60's tunes, playing Rummikub and keeping a weekly score to declare a "World Champion", lounging by the hot water outflow doing a "Pool Stand" when the water was really too cold for swimming, pushing me on the floaty so I could stay in the Lazy River, sunbathing, both of us singing old Rock-n-Roll songs aloud, grilling at least four times a week, cheering for the Tigers, watching MSNBC ad nauseum, feeding/naming/establishing a relationship with the 6-7 herons who came to the door every day for pieces of hot dogs, talking to the wild parrots who came to the bird feeder telling them to 'bring your friends', finding stars in the telescope at night, watching the hawks hunt, looking for the fox who ran though the yard many mornings, mocking the golfers on the 14th tee behind our house, chatting with our girls and grands on the portable phone, and always... loving me and being loved in return.
I miss him so.
Lucky as I am with all the love I have in my life, and I AM lucky, I long for his.
There'll be a point, I'm sure, when I will be out there without puddling up; I have no doubt of that. Life goes on. But right now, this minute, today, is not that day.
Luckily for me, there'll be another day to do better tomorrow.
And so I shall,
Try.
The Hairless Wonder
Let's talk about hair.
Or, rather, the LACK of hair because I don't have any!
It's true. Some medication I took for asthma caused my own never-any-good-anyway hair to thin to the point of showing scalp so I did the best thing I could and shaved it all off, period!
It was very freeing.
I wear wigs every day and have for at least 15 years.
Living in sunny Florida it's perfect! I can be in and out of the pool or the Gulf of Mexico as often as I like and not have to worry about having to do my hair multiple times a day.
It took me about 20 minutes to wash-dry-curl-fluff myself before I started wearing wigs and now it takes me, literally, four seconds to go from "no doo" to "all done"!!
Figure that's 20 minutes a day I've saved for 15 years. In total: 35,070 minutes/2,972 hours/ 123 days I've had to do something more (or less!) productive with my life since I became hairless.
Amazing.
Foolishly, I wasted way too much money buying real hair wigs when I first shaved my head. It didn't take long before I figured out that was silly. Whether the wigs are real or microfiber they all get old and have to be replaced about every 3-5 months.
I found cheap wigs from the Asian or African-American beauty supply stores did everything I needed them to do and did it for $25.00-$30.00 a pop!
It's challenging to find blond or frosted blond wigs at these establishments but it can be done; I'm living proof.
When I find a style and color I like I try to buy it in bulk. At about $23.00 per wig it's entirely do-able.
It drives my daughters batty that almost every day since wig-wearing became a way of life for me someone on the street, in a shop, or at the market compliments my hair and asks where I get it cut/done! It's a running joke with us. I try to just say, "Thank you," but almost always cop to the fact it's a wig and if they like it so much they can have it for themselves for $23.00 at Lee Hair and Nails!!
Sure, if I had a choice I'd like to have a full head of my own lustrous hair but that option's off the table. Wigs are an excellent second-best.
The trick is to find ones that require very little brushing - those are the ones that last and look good the longest. I simply shake mine vigorously then plop it on my head, use my fingers to arrange it and I'm good-to-go.
It works!
Try it, you'll like it.
Or, rather, the LACK of hair because I don't have any!
It's true. Some medication I took for asthma caused my own never-any-good-anyway hair to thin to the point of showing scalp so I did the best thing I could and shaved it all off, period!
It was very freeing.
I wear wigs every day and have for at least 15 years.
Living in sunny Florida it's perfect! I can be in and out of the pool or the Gulf of Mexico as often as I like and not have to worry about having to do my hair multiple times a day.
It took me about 20 minutes to wash-dry-curl-fluff myself before I started wearing wigs and now it takes me, literally, four seconds to go from "no doo" to "all done"!!
Figure that's 20 minutes a day I've saved for 15 years. In total: 35,070 minutes/2,972 hours/ 123 days I've had to do something more (or less!) productive with my life since I became hairless.
Amazing.
Foolishly, I wasted way too much money buying real hair wigs when I first shaved my head. It didn't take long before I figured out that was silly. Whether the wigs are real or microfiber they all get old and have to be replaced about every 3-5 months.
I found cheap wigs from the Asian or African-American beauty supply stores did everything I needed them to do and did it for $25.00-$30.00 a pop!
It's challenging to find blond or frosted blond wigs at these establishments but it can be done; I'm living proof.
When I find a style and color I like I try to buy it in bulk. At about $23.00 per wig it's entirely do-able.
It drives my daughters batty that almost every day since wig-wearing became a way of life for me someone on the street, in a shop, or at the market compliments my hair and asks where I get it cut/done! It's a running joke with us. I try to just say, "Thank you," but almost always cop to the fact it's a wig and if they like it so much they can have it for themselves for $23.00 at Lee Hair and Nails!!
Sure, if I had a choice I'd like to have a full head of my own lustrous hair but that option's off the table. Wigs are an excellent second-best.
The trick is to find ones that require very little brushing - those are the ones that last and look good the longest. I simply shake mine vigorously then plop it on my head, use my fingers to arrange it and I'm good-to-go.
It works!
Try it, you'll like it.
Friday, May 8, 2009
To Work or Not To Work...?
Retirement began, for me, in late August of 2005. I never thought I'd be any good at it because I was always a person who got the most done when there was the most to do.
Without a schedule to be met I often did nothing or... as close to nothing as possible: watched TV, read, napped, shopped, vegged. That's been the story of my life in Sarasota.
It's taken me this long to begin wishing I had somewhere productive to go and do.
I'm thinking about a job. Maybe at a hospital where there's always a bustle of activity. Or a school. It should be somewhere I could put my own special talents to work: indomitable perkiness, positive thinking, an ability to rationalize even the most outrageous situations, organizing anything and anyone, never saying die.
BUT it must also be forgiving of my less-than-sterling traits: walking into walls, singing out loud, being figuratively and literally dizzy sometimes, having memory lapses, getting lost....
At 64 I might be able to find a paying job but I'm more likely to find something as a volunteer.
A hospital volunteer sounds do-able.
I'd make an excellent greeter because I'm friendly and make a good first impression (it's only after you get to know me you begin to understand how truly demented I've become!). Or a tutor for children stuck in the hospital but still capable of doing their schoolwork. A reader for those who can't read themselves? I could push the newspaper/candy cart around the halls and chat people up as I wander.
Twenty hours a week would be plenty for me to commit to, I think.
I wonder if Sarasota Memorial is ready for me??
Think I'll stop there today and check out the possibilities. Who knows? It could be win/win for SMH and for TWJ.
Let the games begin!
Without a schedule to be met I often did nothing or... as close to nothing as possible: watched TV, read, napped, shopped, vegged. That's been the story of my life in Sarasota.
It's taken me this long to begin wishing I had somewhere productive to go and do.
I'm thinking about a job. Maybe at a hospital where there's always a bustle of activity. Or a school. It should be somewhere I could put my own special talents to work: indomitable perkiness, positive thinking, an ability to rationalize even the most outrageous situations, organizing anything and anyone, never saying die.
BUT it must also be forgiving of my less-than-sterling traits: walking into walls, singing out loud, being figuratively and literally dizzy sometimes, having memory lapses, getting lost....
At 64 I might be able to find a paying job but I'm more likely to find something as a volunteer.
A hospital volunteer sounds do-able.
I'd make an excellent greeter because I'm friendly and make a good first impression (it's only after you get to know me you begin to understand how truly demented I've become!). Or a tutor for children stuck in the hospital but still capable of doing their schoolwork. A reader for those who can't read themselves? I could push the newspaper/candy cart around the halls and chat people up as I wander.
Twenty hours a week would be plenty for me to commit to, I think.
I wonder if Sarasota Memorial is ready for me??
Think I'll stop there today and check out the possibilities. Who knows? It could be win/win for SMH and for TWJ.
Let the games begin!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The Beck and Call Girl
Switched from Comcast to Verizon FIOS today and - oy - such a deal!
If I stayed up for three days (like I did when I got cable for the first time in the '80's) I still wouldn't have enough time to try all the channels I now have on my TV.
Correction: my SIX TV's!?
Yup. TV's very important in The Widow Judy's household.
Still, I'm sure poor Tom is not resting quietly at this moment knowing we didn't get the baseball package too and won't, therefore, be having the opportunity to see twelve different baseball games daily this season as we did when he was alive. If the Tigers stumble I still may have to sign up for it knowing Tom would want me to even if we never actually turn a game ON.
It's the principle, see?
The installer, Ryan, was here from 8:15 'till just about 12:00 hooking us up, literally. He was very professional and explained all the particulars but his explication fell on deaf ears; while he pushed button after button showing me all the tricks I tuned out knowing I would never remember a darn thing he said.
I have to do it myself if I'm going to learn the ins and outs. I know this is shocking but I plan to read the instructions.
Fancy THAT!
Apparently, if a channel is showing a movie there's a way to play it any time YOU'RE ready regardless of the scheduled showtime!? Sounds like the work of the devil, doesn't it?
If I'm reading correctly, I have 1951 channels not counting the On Demand options.
See what I mean about staying up ad nauseum???
I have figured out how to DVR the shows I want but, so far, I am in the dark how to interrupt the DVRing and start a show over from the beginning. I'm putting that on tomorrow's learning agenda.
For tonight, I'm happy to click and flip and just generally revel in the glory that is having 2000+ channels at my beck and call.
Decadence, thy name is Verizon FIOS!
If I stayed up for three days (like I did when I got cable for the first time in the '80's) I still wouldn't have enough time to try all the channels I now have on my TV.
Correction: my SIX TV's!?
Yup. TV's very important in The Widow Judy's household.
Still, I'm sure poor Tom is not resting quietly at this moment knowing we didn't get the baseball package too and won't, therefore, be having the opportunity to see twelve different baseball games daily this season as we did when he was alive. If the Tigers stumble I still may have to sign up for it knowing Tom would want me to even if we never actually turn a game ON.
It's the principle, see?
The installer, Ryan, was here from 8:15 'till just about 12:00 hooking us up, literally. He was very professional and explained all the particulars but his explication fell on deaf ears; while he pushed button after button showing me all the tricks I tuned out knowing I would never remember a darn thing he said.
I have to do it myself if I'm going to learn the ins and outs. I know this is shocking but I plan to read the instructions.
Fancy THAT!
Apparently, if a channel is showing a movie there's a way to play it any time YOU'RE ready regardless of the scheduled showtime!? Sounds like the work of the devil, doesn't it?
If I'm reading correctly, I have 1951 channels not counting the On Demand options.
See what I mean about staying up ad nauseum???
I have figured out how to DVR the shows I want but, so far, I am in the dark how to interrupt the DVRing and start a show over from the beginning. I'm putting that on tomorrow's learning agenda.
For tonight, I'm happy to click and flip and just generally revel in the glory that is having 2000+ channels at my beck and call.
Decadence, thy name is Verizon FIOS!
Pipe Dreams
Anybody want to go on a cruise?
My passport arrived two days ago - I've never had one before - and I thought, "Well, I'll just go on a little cruise, I will."
Called the travel agency and, without a roomate it's twice as expensive!
Who knew??
There's always a catch, isn't there.... Before, I had a partner and no passport; now, I have a passport and no partner?!
Where's the fairness in THAT!??
A cruise has always been an 'out there' dream and I'm not sure why. Truth is, I'm terrible on boats and generally end up puking in my hat! Vomiting takes away a lot of the supposed "fun" as you can well imagine.
My dad had a nice boat when he retired in Bel Air Bluffs. He would bluster even way back then about how expensive it was to spend the day on the water. Or OFF the water - there always seemed to be SOMETHING that required another bucket of money to keep the boat happy?? That's why, on Judy's Big Wish List, owning a boat has always been dead last.
I'd really like to go to Europe. FLY to Europe, that is. Unfortunately, I don't have any friends living in Paris or Rome and I'm too old to hostel it so that's probably a pipe dream too. TWJ is on a budget, after all.
Guess I'll compromise and go to the beach on Siesta Key. It IS the reason so many people visit me here in Sarasota!! They'll deny that, naturally, but when I lived on the east side of Detroit did I have a lot of company?? No, I did not....
It's fun to dream about going to new places. Think I'll take a little nap right now
and see where I wind up.
Dreaming is free, right?
My passport arrived two days ago - I've never had one before - and I thought, "Well, I'll just go on a little cruise, I will."
Called the travel agency and, without a roomate it's twice as expensive!
Who knew??
There's always a catch, isn't there.... Before, I had a partner and no passport; now, I have a passport and no partner?!
Where's the fairness in THAT!??
A cruise has always been an 'out there' dream and I'm not sure why. Truth is, I'm terrible on boats and generally end up puking in my hat! Vomiting takes away a lot of the supposed "fun" as you can well imagine.
My dad had a nice boat when he retired in Bel Air Bluffs. He would bluster even way back then about how expensive it was to spend the day on the water. Or OFF the water - there always seemed to be SOMETHING that required another bucket of money to keep the boat happy?? That's why, on Judy's Big Wish List, owning a boat has always been dead last.
I'd really like to go to Europe. FLY to Europe, that is. Unfortunately, I don't have any friends living in Paris or Rome and I'm too old to hostel it so that's probably a pipe dream too. TWJ is on a budget, after all.
Guess I'll compromise and go to the beach on Siesta Key. It IS the reason so many people visit me here in Sarasota!! They'll deny that, naturally, but when I lived on the east side of Detroit did I have a lot of company?? No, I did not....
It's fun to dream about going to new places. Think I'll take a little nap right now
and see where I wind up.
Dreaming is free, right?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
The Shark
Today I did something I haven't done since I was a teenager. I washed the kitchen floor.
LOL. Not a very exciting beginning for the blog, is it? Sorry 'bout that!?
Tom asked for that duty when we were first married and who was I to deny him that particular pleasure!??
Since he died, the floor has only been entirely washed one time and my brother-in-law magnanimously did that for us while we were in Michigan farewelling Tom.
That brings me back to today.
It was a bi@#*!! I'm too old to be sitting on my butt scrubbing one tile after another. And you KNOW what'll happen - they'll just get dirty again??
Plus, being as obsessive-compulsive as I am, I couldn't just scrub the tiles I also felt the need, being at that level, to wash all the lower cabinets AND rearrange the interiors of those that have gotten out of control.
I wasn't having ANY fun but I, of course, couldn't stop once I'd begun... that would be heresy! The Widow Judy does not comprehend anything other than a job well done?! I'm a 100 per-center in all things.
I got about 2/3 of the way through the kitchen and that commercial for The Shark came into my head. I need that!! I have tile in the kitchen, the foyer, the laundry room, and two bathrooms - I'm the person The Shark was meant for!!!
So I headed to Bed Bath and Beyond just as soon as I finished and got dressed for the day.
$99.00. Seemed like a bargain if only to save my knees and hips!
Science is wonderful. The Shark is mine all mine!! You'll be able to eat off my floors from now on.
But please don't....
LOL. Not a very exciting beginning for the blog, is it? Sorry 'bout that!?
Tom asked for that duty when we were first married and who was I to deny him that particular pleasure!??
Since he died, the floor has only been entirely washed one time and my brother-in-law magnanimously did that for us while we were in Michigan farewelling Tom.
That brings me back to today.
It was a bi@#*!! I'm too old to be sitting on my butt scrubbing one tile after another. And you KNOW what'll happen - they'll just get dirty again??
Plus, being as obsessive-compulsive as I am, I couldn't just scrub the tiles I also felt the need, being at that level, to wash all the lower cabinets AND rearrange the interiors of those that have gotten out of control.
I wasn't having ANY fun but I, of course, couldn't stop once I'd begun... that would be heresy! The Widow Judy does not comprehend anything other than a job well done?! I'm a 100 per-center in all things.
I got about 2/3 of the way through the kitchen and that commercial for The Shark came into my head. I need that!! I have tile in the kitchen, the foyer, the laundry room, and two bathrooms - I'm the person The Shark was meant for!!!
So I headed to Bed Bath and Beyond just as soon as I finished and got dressed for the day.
$99.00. Seemed like a bargain if only to save my knees and hips!
Science is wonderful. The Shark is mine all mine!! You'll be able to eat off my floors from now on.
But please don't....
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The Odd Woman
Suzy and I were in downtown Sarasota at Two Senoritas waiting for a table this afternoon; a large group was in front of us.
"7," they told the hostess and I started counting: 3 men and 4 women. There was an odd woman in the party.
It was like a slap in the face to me. Now I, The Widow Judy, will be also known as The Odd Woman??
Yikes. I hadn't thought that far ahead until this afternoon. Never having ever in my life been a single... this is very strange.
Anybody (and I mean ANYbody) who's ever known me is laughing out loud right now at the irony. The truth is, everywhere and anywhere I've ever gone with anyone I've ever known I have always always always BEEN the "odd woman"!!
No one is odder than I.
I do things and say things that, to me, seem entirely normal, sane and obvious but which, to others, are notable - and not always in a good way!?
I sing out loud all the time. To me it seems perfectly within the bounds of propriety but, often, others seem to respond with less than great enthusiasm for my singing and/or my songs. I don't have a great voice - I'm saving that for my next incarnation - but I love to sing. And so I do.
And, yes, sometimes I make up my own silly songs which was a little cuter when my children were preschoolers and they would sing along but the cute factor has undeniably waned as I've gotten older. That hasn't stopped me though.
I can't seem to help it. I see a word or a situation and I start rhyming then the rhyme becomes a poem and finally I put it to music in my head. Voila: a song is born!
Doesn't everybody do that??
Also, I smile. I smile at people I know and people I don't. I'm an indiscriminate smiler.
And a hello-er. I smile and say hello to people all the time. Why wouldn't I?? I'm in a space, we're sharing that space for a finite amount of time, why wouldn't I want people to feel welcome being where they are?
My father always said, "Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to!" He probably stole that from someone else but I took it to heart and made it a way of life.
I strike up ad hoc conversations with children, old people, all people. My sister-in-law is mortified by this and I have never been able to fathom why it's such an embarrassment for her. Poor dear, her mother did exactly the same thing her whole life long and when the three of us would be out together - well - let's just say that Sharon would die a little every time.
My clothes and hair draw attention almost daily. People literally stop me on the street all the time to ask where I get my hair done or to say my blouse (or shoes or top or bottom)look nice and where did I get them. They are, believe me, nothing special but still, somehow, they merit attention and that strikes me as odd every time.
I shop at Macy's and J.C. Penney and Walmart. I'd shop at Target but they just don't have things that fit me. Can you get any more mundane than those three aforementioned stores?
I don't think so.
"The Odd Woman". It's like I've come full circle with Tom's death. I am now literally as well as figuratively "odd".
In one sense, I wouldn't have it any other way; in another... well... that could be more problematic. I can't imagine being single so it's hard to prophecy how that will play out over time.
Stan? Are you out there??
"7," they told the hostess and I started counting: 3 men and 4 women. There was an odd woman in the party.
It was like a slap in the face to me. Now I, The Widow Judy, will be also known as The Odd Woman??
Yikes. I hadn't thought that far ahead until this afternoon. Never having ever in my life been a single... this is very strange.
Anybody (and I mean ANYbody) who's ever known me is laughing out loud right now at the irony. The truth is, everywhere and anywhere I've ever gone with anyone I've ever known I have always always always BEEN the "odd woman"!!
No one is odder than I.
I do things and say things that, to me, seem entirely normal, sane and obvious but which, to others, are notable - and not always in a good way!?
I sing out loud all the time. To me it seems perfectly within the bounds of propriety but, often, others seem to respond with less than great enthusiasm for my singing and/or my songs. I don't have a great voice - I'm saving that for my next incarnation - but I love to sing. And so I do.
And, yes, sometimes I make up my own silly songs which was a little cuter when my children were preschoolers and they would sing along but the cute factor has undeniably waned as I've gotten older. That hasn't stopped me though.
I can't seem to help it. I see a word or a situation and I start rhyming then the rhyme becomes a poem and finally I put it to music in my head. Voila: a song is born!
Doesn't everybody do that??
Also, I smile. I smile at people I know and people I don't. I'm an indiscriminate smiler.
And a hello-er. I smile and say hello to people all the time. Why wouldn't I?? I'm in a space, we're sharing that space for a finite amount of time, why wouldn't I want people to feel welcome being where they are?
My father always said, "Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to!" He probably stole that from someone else but I took it to heart and made it a way of life.
I strike up ad hoc conversations with children, old people, all people. My sister-in-law is mortified by this and I have never been able to fathom why it's such an embarrassment for her. Poor dear, her mother did exactly the same thing her whole life long and when the three of us would be out together - well - let's just say that Sharon would die a little every time.
My clothes and hair draw attention almost daily. People literally stop me on the street all the time to ask where I get my hair done or to say my blouse (or shoes or top or bottom)look nice and where did I get them. They are, believe me, nothing special but still, somehow, they merit attention and that strikes me as odd every time.
I shop at Macy's and J.C. Penney and Walmart. I'd shop at Target but they just don't have things that fit me. Can you get any more mundane than those three aforementioned stores?
I don't think so.
"The Odd Woman". It's like I've come full circle with Tom's death. I am now literally as well as figuratively "odd".
In one sense, I wouldn't have it any other way; in another... well... that could be more problematic. I can't imagine being single so it's hard to prophecy how that will play out over time.
Stan? Are you out there??
Friday, May 1, 2009
Making Lemonade
My nephew Lee is quite a guy. His maternal grandmother, my sister Toot, has thought of him as extra special since the day he was born. I know this because she calls him "the messiah" and always has.
It's lower case so... no blasphemy intended.
Kind of like, "our father who art in heaven" referencing our own dad? She coined that phrase too.
Lee is the only kid I know who takes a "no" answer and still runs with it!?
Such was the case when he got to UMaine's Orono campus four years ago. He played baseball in high school very successfully so he tried out for UMaine's team at college.
Didn't make it.
Most kids would just slink away with their tails between their legs but not Lee. He showed up at the coach's office early the following morning asking what he needed to work on so he'd have a better shot the next year. Coach told him to "hit the weight room" but saw something special in a kid who didn't resent being cut AND who obviously loved the sport. He was offered the job of Team Manager.
He took it.
And he ran with it.
He did everything asked of him and lots LOTS more.
Coach noticed.
When Lee tried out in his sophomore year he was cut again!? This time he was named a student assistant coach. That meant he got to travel with the team!! True to form, Lee made a name for himself working hard with and for the kids AND the other coaches as well.
Now Lee's the first base coach so he's authentically involved in every game. His plan is to stay at Orono when he graduates next winter going straight on to graduate school and continuing to work with the baseball team.
His eventual plan is to become a professional college or major league baseball coach; from the praise heaped on him from the staff he's working with at UMaine, that seems very do-able.
He was thrown a curve not making the team as a player but he persevered. I call that Making Lemonade!
It's lower case so... no blasphemy intended.
Kind of like, "our father who art in heaven" referencing our own dad? She coined that phrase too.
Lee is the only kid I know who takes a "no" answer and still runs with it!?
Such was the case when he got to UMaine's Orono campus four years ago. He played baseball in high school very successfully so he tried out for UMaine's team at college.
Didn't make it.
Most kids would just slink away with their tails between their legs but not Lee. He showed up at the coach's office early the following morning asking what he needed to work on so he'd have a better shot the next year. Coach told him to "hit the weight room" but saw something special in a kid who didn't resent being cut AND who obviously loved the sport. He was offered the job of Team Manager.
He took it.
And he ran with it.
He did everything asked of him and lots LOTS more.
Coach noticed.
When Lee tried out in his sophomore year he was cut again!? This time he was named a student assistant coach. That meant he got to travel with the team!! True to form, Lee made a name for himself working hard with and for the kids AND the other coaches as well.
Now Lee's the first base coach so he's authentically involved in every game. His plan is to stay at Orono when he graduates next winter going straight on to graduate school and continuing to work with the baseball team.
His eventual plan is to become a professional college or major league baseball coach; from the praise heaped on him from the staff he's working with at UMaine, that seems very do-able.
He was thrown a curve not making the team as a player but he persevered. I call that Making Lemonade!
May Day
May first was one of my favorite holidays growing up in Hopkinton, MA.
We'd make "baskets" out of Dixie cups, decorate the hell out of them with drawings, construction paper, lace doilies, even fabric and then create a handle from pipe stems, ribbons or lace.
Candy, flowers we'd pick from our own spring gardens, and a funny or rhyming unsigned note about the recipient would be the piece de resistance. We'd stealthily approach the porches of our friends, ring the doorbell and then disappear before the door opened. There we'd be, giggling madly behind a bush, a car, a tree trunk as our friends discovered their treasure.
UNsigned!! Figuring out who gifted you with these little bits of heaven was a major part of the excitement.
The making and the doing was so much fun that, often, I'd empty the baskets I got and fill my newly-made ones with treats I'd received from someone else so I could give out more and more of them!
More than Easter, May Day truly signalled spring had sprung.
In Massachusetts, Easter weather was generally still pretty blustery whereas, by May first, it was assured that jonquils, tulips, lilacs would definitely be blooming.
I loved the baskets best of all. I'd line them up on my bedroom windowsill and use them to hold stuff until they got too ratty.
There's never been a May Day that I haven't remembered all my friends and me surprising one another with these home-made tokens of affection.
I'm feeling the love so well, in fact, that I think I might just get out my art and craft supplies to transform the cups in my pantry and drop them off on my friends' doorsteps here in Florida today!! What a fun idea.
Let's ALL do it!? We can start a tradition and spread the love wherever we are.
I double dog dare ya'!!!
We'd make "baskets" out of Dixie cups, decorate the hell out of them with drawings, construction paper, lace doilies, even fabric and then create a handle from pipe stems, ribbons or lace.
Candy, flowers we'd pick from our own spring gardens, and a funny or rhyming unsigned note about the recipient would be the piece de resistance. We'd stealthily approach the porches of our friends, ring the doorbell and then disappear before the door opened. There we'd be, giggling madly behind a bush, a car, a tree trunk as our friends discovered their treasure.
UNsigned!! Figuring out who gifted you with these little bits of heaven was a major part of the excitement.
The making and the doing was so much fun that, often, I'd empty the baskets I got and fill my newly-made ones with treats I'd received from someone else so I could give out more and more of them!
More than Easter, May Day truly signalled spring had sprung.
In Massachusetts, Easter weather was generally still pretty blustery whereas, by May first, it was assured that jonquils, tulips, lilacs would definitely be blooming.
I loved the baskets best of all. I'd line them up on my bedroom windowsill and use them to hold stuff until they got too ratty.
There's never been a May Day that I haven't remembered all my friends and me surprising one another with these home-made tokens of affection.
I'm feeling the love so well, in fact, that I think I might just get out my art and craft supplies to transform the cups in my pantry and drop them off on my friends' doorsteps here in Florida today!! What a fun idea.
Let's ALL do it!? We can start a tradition and spread the love wherever we are.
I double dog dare ya'!!!
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