The Odd Woman

Suzy and I were in downtown Sarasota at Two Senoritas waiting for a table this afternoon; a large group was in front of us.

"7," they told the hostess and I started counting: 3 men and 4 women. There was an odd woman in the party.

It was like a slap in the face to me. Now I, The Widow Judy, will be also known as The Odd Woman??

Yikes. I hadn't thought that far ahead until this afternoon. Never having ever in my life been a single... this is very strange.

Anybody (and I mean ANYbody) who's ever known me is laughing out loud right now at the irony. The truth is, everywhere and anywhere I've ever gone with anyone I've ever known I have always always always BEEN the "odd woman"!!

No one is odder than I.

I do things and say things that, to me, seem entirely normal, sane and obvious but which, to others, are notable - and not always in a good way!?

I sing out loud all the time. To me it seems perfectly within the bounds of propriety but, often, others seem to respond with less than great enthusiasm for my singing and/or my songs. I don't have a great voice - I'm saving that for my next incarnation - but I love to sing. And so I do.

And, yes, sometimes I make up my own silly songs which was a little cuter when my children were preschoolers and they would sing along but the cute factor has undeniably waned as I've gotten older. That hasn't stopped me though.

I can't seem to help it. I see a word or a situation and I start rhyming then the rhyme becomes a poem and finally I put it to music in my head. Voila: a song is born!

Doesn't everybody do that??

Also, I smile. I smile at people I know and people I don't. I'm an indiscriminate smiler.

And a hello-er. I smile and say hello to people all the time. Why wouldn't I?? I'm in a space, we're sharing that space for a finite amount of time, why wouldn't I want people to feel welcome being where they are?

My father always said, "Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to!" He probably stole that from someone else but I took it to heart and made it a way of life.

I strike up ad hoc conversations with children, old people, all people. My sister-in-law is mortified by this and I have never been able to fathom why it's such an embarrassment for her. Poor dear, her mother did exactly the same thing her whole life long and when the three of us would be out together - well - let's just say that Sharon would die a little every time.

My clothes and hair draw attention almost daily. People literally stop me on the street all the time to ask where I get my hair done or to say my blouse (or shoes or top or bottom)look nice and where did I get them. They are, believe me, nothing special but still, somehow, they merit attention and that strikes me as odd every time.

I shop at Macy's and J.C. Penney and Walmart. I'd shop at Target but they just don't have things that fit me. Can you get any more mundane than those three aforementioned stores?

I don't think so.

"The Odd Woman". It's like I've come full circle with Tom's death. I am now literally as well as figuratively "odd".

In one sense, I wouldn't have it any other way; in another... well... that could be more problematic. I can't imagine being single so it's hard to prophecy how that will play out over time.

Stan? Are you out there??